Sunday, October 31, 2010
my monster. ♥
Thursday, October 28, 2010
I want it together, with you next to me
I’m always waiting for the day where I can finally see you,
to touch you, and feel you and to love you more,
for the day we can see the sun or even the moon light up the sky
not over the phone while we talk,
with you looking down at my eyes while holding my hand.
and if the sun is up, I want to feel the sweat at the back of your skin
and to remember how it feels like..
for me to be able to feel the feeling of your existence.
that your really here with me.
Waiting would be worth it.
days are fast, and the closer we get to the day we'll be together again,
the more i'm missing you.
the more harder it is for me to miss you.
It’s impossible to understand the logic behind missing you.
I don’t know what it is that I am really missing
Is it the absence of you?
Or perhaps that unexplainable feeling at those every day conversations we had on the phone.
Those moments that we spend together before.
It is hard to be away to someone you love more than your self.
it's hard to keep going but it is harder to give up.
but with all the things you have said and done,
was already enough to assure me that no matter how far, no matter what,
you are somehow, in some way, here with me.
I miss you even during the seconds we talk. As soon as you pick up and say hello,
I start to miss you already.
I miss you at every breath that I take.
I love to think of you which sometimes
gives me a hard time, cause it makes me miss you more.
But I realize that thinking of you is the best thing to.
i realize that i don’t just want the thought of you.
I don't want to just think of you...
I want the person I have been in love with for years and for months.
I want to be with you again.
Once again.
I miss you so much more than words can explain honey.
I want to know and feel again what your breath smells like,
what your hair feels like as i caress it while we kiss,
how the sides of your mouth move into that amazing smile
you give me that makes my day.
Your laughter, that makes my heart jump into happiness.
how your eyes are when I’m looking right at them
and not into a photograph, a picture, or pixels in my phone.
I want the real intense gaze I used to see from you.
I want to smell the scent on your neck as I hug and kiss you.
And most of all,
I want to hear you calling my name.
Or even hear you getting mad at me for every single stupid mistake I make.
I don’t care. I don’t mind.
I don’t want to hear your voice through a fucking phone,
or behind this little shitty headset.
This time, I want to hear your voice right through my ears.
I want to hear you talk and feel your breath on my skin as you tell me
How much you miss me. How much you love me.
And how much you waited for the day to come that we’ll be together again.
I want it real.
"I want to hear you resonate through the air the words i love you honey..."
And i know in the end, when that day comes..
All the wait will be more than worth it....
i love you honey.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
cause it's so cold tonight...
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Every day with you has been a blessing.
19th Months! :)
I can’t imagine living my life with anyone else or loving anyone else.
You honey have been there for me through everything.
You are my source of inspiration and the reason I get up for work every day.
haha for real! The way i love sleeping is way too much,
but your the reason why i take that effort to get up and be awake,
to face another day talking with you and be able to hear your voice.
And if it’s okay with you I kind of want to keep this good thing going and remain together forever. ok? :)
I told thousand times before why i love you.
And i maybe I've mention this all to you before
but just in case i'll tell you once again
some of the things why i love you...
I LOVE YOU...
not because I have to but because I want to.
I love you because you were there.
because you talked to me. Because you understood me.
I love you because you cared about me.
because you trusted me. Because you let me in.
I love you because I know you won’t ever hurt me.
I love you because you are everything I’ve ever wanted.
I love you because you fell in love with me despite the age gap.
I love you because you have been through so much.
I love you because you are strong despite
all the things that tried to break us apart.
I love you because I know you. I know how amazing you are.
No one understands how much you mean to me.
"You are my life, my world, my everything."
Happy 19th months Anniversary! i love you so much forever.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
you and i are the quiet things no one ever knew
I hate nights like this
when I can’t get to sleep and yet be sad enough to realize
that no matter how lonely it feels to be lying here on my bed without you
while staring blankly into that empty space up above me.
there is nothing I can do to stop myself from missing you so much because..
No matter what i do, you will never be here.
We were like an unspoken whispers and thoughts,
That nobody could ever hear besides us.
A sealed secret box that no one could ever open
cause we have the key.
We were things that only us could ever knew, things that no one else understood.
It gets hard at times, especially at times like this where I sob cause your not here
With me when I feel like I need you so much.
But the reason why i'm still here, holding on is because i would rather
have an intangible and risky love affair with you,
than to settle for a common and ordinary, yet guaranteed kind of "love"
with anyone else.
So i will wait for you for as long as it takes
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I don't know why it feels so hard when missing you is the easiest thing to do..
why i miss you so much!?!
i think about you every second of every day, and if we don't talk
more than a day? i worry intensely and became a different person...
i think about you every second of every day, and if we don't talk
more than a day? i worry intensely and became a different person...
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
NO regret
Monday, October 18, 2010
I celebrate my love for you...~happy birthday!
To my handsome boyfriend,
You are absolutely amazing.
The most amazing person I have ever met.
You always make sure I'm smiling, laughing, and having a good time.
And today is one of the most amazing days of your life.
You may find it ordinary but for people like me,
who loves you this much, today is a very special day.
I wish I could thank your parents for bringing you in this world.
If they didn't met each other and do something
to bring you to this world, you would not be here.
SO im thankful. And happy you have another year of your existence
in this wonderful world.
I wish i'm there to celebrate it with you.
I wish i could hand you my gift and see you while you open it.
I wish I could see those smiles in your eyes again,
when I kiss you a happy birthday.
But in spite of that, i wanna wish you a happy birthday!
and more birthdays to come.
I'm looking forward to the next coming years that we would be
able to celebrate this special day together.
i love you honey! your the best gift i ever have in my life!
thank you!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
i'll stay happy forever with you
Sometimes I miss you so much that it feels like
the sadness consumes me.
It hits me in waves, some small, some overpowering feeling.
like it's way too much.
Some days I’m strong enough to fight it.
But there are days when I’m not.
But tonight I realized how much you loved me.
You never fight when i always try to start something.
You keep your patient and you manage to give me smile when i frown.
I never would have thought that anyone could be patient to me to that extent.
And love me as much as you do.
You are the only one who can tolerate all of my crap,
my crazy thoughts, my insecure nature, my jealousy
and you’re the only guy in the world who would bother
staying up late when you’re dead tired just to see me.
you would do impossible things just to call me.
You saw me at my worst.
You call me beautiful when I was a complete mess.
I must say that i have an amazing boyfriend
who is everything I could possibly wish for in a man.
He makes me laugh, he makes me smile, he makes me happy.
He loves me so damn fucking much.
And he’s all mine forever. What more do I need?
You’re the most amazing guy in the world.
Thank you for being there for me honey.
i love you so much.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
every part of my body, longs for ur touch.
I was in my room, laying in my bed alone.
I was about to sleep,
so i close my eyes, open it, then close it again,
and i see your face. i realize how much i miss you today.
and miss everything from before.
about you. about us.
And tonight as i wrote this down,
i'm looking back in the past and imagining things at the same time
things that I would love to do with you
when I see you again.
I miss your kiss.
I think about your lips, the perfect color, the perfect shape,
I miss it.. so badly..
I love to kiss those beautiful lips.
That same lips that whisper 'I love you' in my ears before,
then hug me and gave me that intense feeling i cannot ever resist.
I miss those times we spend together, full of passion and love.
hearing you moan with every motion, every touch i give you.
I miss looking at your face while we kiss.
in my eyes you will always be so handsome, so perfect. what a pure beauty.
I remember how your fingers twirl through my hair,
and you holding my face, staring into my eyes as we had a speechless conversation right after we kissed.
Honeyy!! my love, my babycake!
i cant wait for that day to come and see you once again.
to be with you again.
all I think about is the next time I will see you my love.
So despite of everything, I'm trying to stay strong,
knowing that someday i will be with you again.
this memories and the sound of your voice telling me you love me everyday
are the only things that keeps me going,
you dont know how hungry i am for ur touch,
i'm craving for those silly glance from those gorgeous eyes.
I can't wait for the time i will wrap my arms around u
and inhale the scent of ur neck. hmmmm...
I cant wait to be with you honey.
to feel ur touch on my cheeks once again,
to be able to run my fingers over ur shoulders and whisper
'I love you honey' into ur ears.
and be able to gaze into ur eyes and kiss you,
give you the most perfect, intense, passionate kiss ever.
i can give, only for those lips.
with this kiss is my way of expressing how much I've missed you,
how much I've long for you.
that every part of my body, longs for ur touch.
So i will wait. I'm counting the days.
And it's almost there.
were almost there. :)
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Never give up
The hardest part of having this kind of relationship
is getting hurt with out him knowing.
or feeling this way when you know
you both can't do anything about it.
no one can stop it. no one can control it.
you or him don't have the power to change every thing.
you can't get mad.
and you don't even know who to blame.
cause it's nobody's fault anyway.
but still you end up in tears.
just forget the pain.
forget the heartaches.
forget the anger.
but just remember the love.
to go through every thing.
HOLD ON. BE STRONG. SUCK IT UP and
NEVER GIVE UP.
Friday, October 8, 2010
1. I need to tell you a secret look at 5
2. The answer is look at 11
3. Don't get mad look at 15
4. Calm down don't be mad look at 13
5. First look at 2
6. Don't be that angry look 12.
7. I just wanted to say i love you
8. What I want to tell you is... THE ANSWER IS ON 14
9. Be patient look at 4
10.This is the last time im going to do this, look at 7
11.I hope your not mad when i say this look at 6
12.Sorry look at 8
13.Don't get mad look at 10
14.I don't know how to say this but look at 3
15.You must be really mad look at number 9.
2. The answer is look at 11
3. Don't get mad look at 15
4. Calm down don't be mad look at 13
5. First look at 2
6. Don't be that angry look 12.
7. I just wanted to say i love you
8. What I want to tell you is... THE ANSWER IS ON 14
9. Be patient look at 4
10.This is the last time im going to do this, look at 7
11.I hope your not mad when i say this look at 6
12.Sorry look at 8
13.Don't get mad look at 10
14.I don't know how to say this but look at 3
15.You must be really mad look at number 9.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Just click and save to your heart!
I could not sleep, so i started going thru the post archive of this blog,
read all my past blog post.
i've read some sad, but mostly happy thoughts of you and me.
I've read the first heartaches i've been thru,
thought of deleting it , but i change my mind.
reading those, made me realize and amaze me how strong we become
since the first day.
And the story begins...
of you and me
with your...
sweet messages
and poems
to Our Firsts....
perfect kisses
that leads us to this
amazing feeling
I asked Why?
i'm not a poet
But then surprisingly i did..
cuz i love you that much
You remember this?
just smile cause we got over it :)
And after all this, you know what i wanna tell you?
Right click and you'll see. :)
read all my past blog post.
i've read some sad, but mostly happy thoughts of you and me.
I've read the first heartaches i've been thru,
thought of deleting it , but i change my mind.
reading those, made me realize and amaze me how strong we become
since the first day.
And the story begins...
of you and me
with your...
sweet messages
and poems
to Our Firsts....
perfect kisses
that leads us to this
amazing feeling
I asked Why?
i'm not a poet
But then surprisingly i did..
cuz i love you that much
You remember this?
just smile cause we got over it :)
And after all this, you know what i wanna tell you?
Right click and you'll see. :)
I hope you never leave
Dear Honey,
Since you came into my life, I've been so happy.
The fact that we're a thousand miles apart is
not a big deal at all because you are always in my heart.
It's so hard to be away from you and
sometimes I question things,
but deep inside my heart I know that you are the only one for me.
When I'm not with you, you are the only one I'm thinking of.
Everything about you tells me that we can be together forever.
Weather it's possible or not.
Only you can make me feel like time STOPS when I'm with you.
Only you can make things better when it feels like the end.
Only you can be the one to smooth my fears away.
and I hope you never leave. Stay with me.
I love you.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Fight, kiss and make up
I hate fights-arguments-differences...
I hate phone talks talking about stupid things that leads us
into arguments.
I hate how i get mad and you feel bad with things i do and say
and then makes me realize our differences.
I kinda miss the bond we shared.
I mean, i miss that comfortable feeling with you.
Where we could talk for hours about everything, anything and not have a problem with the silence in the middle.
and not thinking about what's wrong? if we say something wrong?
About our closeness we use to have,
If you think of it,
it’s funny what life does, how it could just give you things
and take it away so soon.
I really can’t get it to my head that you grow distant from people and that good things come to an end sooner or later.
But hopefully not with us. not yet.
But on the other side,
I love these moments when we try to patch things up
when we question our relationship
and redefine what we really mean to each other.
I know there were pain we inflicted upon each other
in the midst of the argument and disagreements
due to our stupid, senseless misunderstandings
but at the end of the day, it is our willingness to compromise with each other,
that made me think,
no matter what..
despite our differences.
i still believe that we are perfect together.
You are made for me. And i will never let go of us.
and always remember that I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!
Friday, October 1, 2010
I want to wake up like this.
I always imagine the feeling where i would wake up
and see you next to me still sleeping..
Then I'll smile because u look so funny when u sleep but,
I'll also smile knowing that you're there, beside me.
I'll wake you up with kisses, pinch your cutest nose ever!
and tell you the words..
"goodmorning honey. "
and you'll open ur eyes.
you seem dazed looking at me then you'll smile. :)
i hear you whisper "i love you"
and my heart melted by hearing it.
The sound of ur voice made my heart beat.
I will lay there with you arm in arm,
my head resting upon ur chest right above your heart.
I hear it beating and with that i knew your love was true.
i'll hold ur hands for comfort, it’s cold, hmmm
so i'll give you a hug, roll over on top of you and the rest is history.
hmmmm :)
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