I don’t think anything I ever say is going to make up for how I feel. So I guess I’ll go with a ‘I’m sorry’ for feeling everything I shouldn’t have felt.

do u remember?

do you remember?
the cold feeling in your skin?
as cold as this delicious yogurt?
the feeling of cold that brings fire and heat in your body.
that makes you sweat and close your eyes,
call my name and realize your in HEAVEN :)

you remember? cause i DO! :)

merry xmas love ♥

"this christmas i'd rather have your PRESENCE than your presents.."

21 MONTHS ♥

21 MONTHS. full of joy, happiness, sadness, fights, anger, tears, madness, craziness, SEX :), and ofcourse love love and love. :) "

im so happy and thankful were still together and have reached this far.
thank you for everything. i love you today, tomorrow and forever.
im wishing for many more years for us! iloveyou honey!

lay with you frorever...

i know your sleeping, and i have to wait till tomorrow that you wake up
and talk to me again. another day passed. another night of missing you.. i wanna lay down with you, sleep with you, and you will hold me when we sleep together,i will cuddle with you, hug you, kiss you on your cheek while you’re still asleep, and play with your nose while im looking at you, and just lay my head on your chest and fall asleep with you. You’re the softest pillow,and the cuddliest teddy bear i cold ever have..when that happens, I can lay here with you forever,and forget the whole world around us..

The road is never staight.

Theres a curve called failure, a loop called confusion, speed bumps called friends, red lights called enemies, caution lights called family, flat tires called jobs, spares called determination, and an engine called perseverance.

But if you’re driving with me, theres no promise, no time, no destination.

-takeflight (book)

let's runaway!

"far from reality.. so far where i can only hear the beats of your heart and the sound of your breath."

i love this... :)

let's play together all night...

i want you here with me tonight....
come here please. i desperately need you..
I'LL BE WAITING.

cause you turn me on...

"Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love

The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back"

this is all i need...

There it goes again...

"that heavy feeling in your chest when you don’t feel any desire to speak or move. All you want to do is close your eyes and sleep, because the process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. You attempt your best to make your days fulfilling, but no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to connect to anyone or anything. If you had a choice you’d prefer to be numb, and not feel anything at all if it means the aching would stop. You have no concrete idea as to what to do or how to feel— all you know for sure is that you want to be okay. "

secret feeling tonight

“there will always be those kind of days, where all you want to do is stay in bed, let the world crash over
You like a giant wave, and just sleep it all off. You just want to pull back from everything, call in sick, when your just emotionally hurting. But the best thing you can do on those days is get up and work through it because it only makes you stronger.”
-random quote I found somewhere

I feel so bless having u knowing some one out is enjoying all d love I give n willing to love me too and that some one is you! -from my sweetest boyfriend ever! :)

forever.................

just browsing on my inbox and i suddenly read this lines in one of his emails...

"Me and you! are the most amazing couple in my world and I'm happy the way you are even if at times I get angry or sad but you have thought me a lot

So let's see our future together and leave the pass behind cause my future is you and only you.

I see my self been with you always no matter what it changes in our lifes cause our love it was mean to be forever."

i will sleep smiling tonight because of this.
i feel all the love. SUCH A SWEET LOVELY words from my man. :)
i love you so much!

Let's start it all over again :)

I am sorry from the bottom of my heart for my rude behavior last night.
It was completely my mistake.
At that moment all my senses were raging, I couldn't think rationally.

And after everything has been said and done,
we still end up together happy.
thank you for never ending love and your open arm forgiveness.
I've hurt you so many times and you never give up,
instead you help me realize my wrong doing and face life and not walk
from the problems.
you teach me to love and more to care for you, myself, and other people.


when i said to you today that..
"you don't deserve someone like me, i'm so mean"

and got the response from you saying...

"you are an amazing woman i've ever met in my life that's why i love you so much like never before!"

i'm speechless as i type all this,
and in each word i write down, I SMILE.

because today, you made me feel the luckiest girl living on earth
to have a boyfriend who love me as much as you do right now.
you did everything to save this relationship and you never let go
despite of all the hurt and pain i brought you.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

and i promise...

i promise to love you more
to care for your feelings
i promise to not get mad and hurt you for no reason at all
i promise to think about the consequences of my actions
and behavior and the effect of this to both of us.
i promise to think twice before i speak and do
something stupid.

i promise to change for the better.
I PROMISE to love you, to care for you, to respect you, to be happy with you
and to love you,
just love you, YOU and only you.

it breaks my heart just thinking of living with out you!
i love you so much!
im glad this is over. im glad we survive. and im glad to start a new beginning
and let our feeling blossoms into years and years full of love, TOGETHER :)

66 days to go!

and our celebration for our love will start! i cant wait! iloveyou!

godbless your heart

dear God and angels in heaven,

my heart is crying inside. because im so far away from him.
i hate when this happen, he's so sick and im not with him
why why why? Oh god.
I wish im with him.
i bet he needs me as much as i wanna take care of him. :(
i wanna be there to caress his face
to hug him to keep him warm and stay awake as i watch him sleep.

tonight, im praying for his health.
for him to feel and get better and stop from getting sick.
please.. i need him. im so worried like hell!
i dont know what to do. it sucks when there's nothing i can do
but to wait till next day to know whats happening.
how is he doing and if his ok.

angels in the sky..
please guide my love.. and take care of him.
away from harm and to keep him safe all the time.

please hear my prayers.. thank you..

take me.. i'll be here waiting..

when i think of you and me and what we shared,
i know it would be easy for others to dismiss our time together as simply a by-product of the days and nights spent by the ocean,
a "fling" that in the long run, would mean absolutely nothing.
that's why i dont tell people about us.they wouldn't understand
and i dont feel the need to explain,
simply because i know in my heart how real it was. when i think of you, i can't help smiling , knowing that you've completed me somehow.

i love you, not just for now, but for always, and i dream of the day that you'll take me in your arms again...

-dear john quotes

happy 20th months buttercup :)

it's been 20 months. and up to now i can still say that
you're one of the best thing that ever happen to me,
you're one of those people who i can tell anything, it's not because i know it'll be kept a secret, its because ur one of the few people i know that actually care. it's a really rare thing to find a listener in a world full of people who seem to only want to talk talk talk and not really say anything. but i managed to fins you among all of the noise and for that im glad. but it's not a one sided thing tho,
ofcourse i love listening to you just as much as i love the fact that you listen.

to be totally honest, you've got me totally in your words.
i guess in everything you say to me.
you always amaze me....
you always make me feel different kind of feelings that makes
this relationship grows and stronger.
and maybe it sounds kinda crazy, but your the first guy that
i could really imagine i want to spend my life with.
tho impossible but i still dream about it.

your that one person i don't think i'd ever really get tired of.
your that one guy i wanna stay with and in love with for the rest of my entire life.

i love you so much honey. thanks for everything...

your the only one. 4ever :)

i only love you.
only thinks of you.
dream of you.
miss you.
crave for you.
longs for you.

and i only wait for you.. only you...

“It’s the people you hug and never want to let go. The people you haven’t seen in years but they haven’t changed at all. The people who give you more to you than you give to them. The people who truly understand who you are. The people you cry about. The ones you live for. It’s the people in your photographs with genuine light shining through their eyes and smile. The people who take your breath away.”-quotes

And i know your the one.

“Being in a couple is hard. And committing, making sacrifices, it’s hard. But if it’s the right person, then it’s easy. Looking at that guy and knowing he’s all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world. And if it’s not like that, then he’s not the one. I’m sorry.”
— Marshall Eriksen

And you will always be the only one :)

And your worth it :)

and you do more than all of this.
so you are way more worth it :)
i love you!

"i'm sorry for a lot of things, but most of all that i never got a chance to tell you that, no matter what happens next, i'll never be anything but grateful for every moment I spent with you. And even though I keep fumbling for the right words, all i really want to say was THANK YOU.."

you are my life. my heart. and everything that exist in me...

i love you so much and i know the next coming days i will miss you more and more. it will make me sad, of course but i understand everything, there's a lot of things for me to think about to give me reason to smile, and one of it is our coming trip :) so stay positive and strong. and i will too. don't forget that i love you no matter what, wherever you are, whoever you with, whatever you do. i will always love you and only you. i love you so much honey! thanks for everything you do for me, i always appreciate all of it from the bottom of my heart. your the biggest and greatest blessing i've ever had in my life and i never asked God why you came into my life, because i know, your destined to be part of it and i'm glad you came. I will never let go of this love we have.i really love you. i really do. i cant stand the fact of not being with you. you always give me reason to smile and be happy. and with you, you gave meaning to my everyday life.thank you for loving me this way and letting me love you this much.and thank you cause you cared for me like no one else did.
you became a BIG part of my life and i dont have any regrets to be
in this relationship.So no matter what obstacle and problems we'll face in the future, one thing i can promise you that were together on this and i'll keep holding onto your hand. i'll hold on you tight.So, i wanna say thank you, for letting me be a part of you life. for letting me be your best friend,your girlfriend.thank you for letting me be YOURS.i will always be thankful i have you. thank you for everything.thanks for all the love, care, patience, understanding, help, happiness. thank you for being yourself.that became a reason why i fell in love with you deeply. and for still giving me reasons to fall in love with you every day more and more.i love you so much!

B A T M A N ♥

i miss batman.
i wanna have batman,

your my super hero.
you save me in distress, sadness.
gives me pain that i learn to love.

i cant wait to be with you batman.

amazing thoughts when you miss me

and this what happens when we miss each other so bad, like right now.
thanks for this wonderful most beautiful and perfect words that never
fails to amaze me. i love you honey!

-01-
"...missing you kills me but at the same time it makes me valuate what you mean to me and what you are for me.

-02-
...Loving you is my favorite thing to do, but i get to the point that i need to
miss you more to love you much more

-03-
...when i lay down at night and lay my head in bed, closing my eyes.
i picture you instantly in my dreams feeling the warmness of your softly touch caressing my lips.

-04-
...i dont see the feeling of missing you as bad cause that's what makes our love stronger...

a perfect world for us

let's travel the world together
you and me alone in places we don't know and with people who wouldn't care seeing us together

see the beauty of this world and how wonderful things are,
and share our happiness and love we have for each other

explore and discover new things with you, and see how perfect it
could be, if it's just you and me.

because it's you that i love the most

I love my name just because of how you say it.
i love the way you stare at me while saying my name
i love the sweet things you tell me, even if i'm screaming at you
i love the way you shout i love you and call my name.

i love how you call my name when your begging me
to stay on the phone with you for few more hours.

i love how you love me and aren't afraid to show it
i love how happy we are together,
how in love we are with each other.
i love how we dream together and imagine things at the same time.

i love how you make me want to be a better person
than i ever thought i could be

but mostly, i love you.
all the good things, all the bad, all the mistakes
all the surprises, all the imperfections,
all of it... i love it, just because they're yours..

there's a rainbow always after the rain

and no matter how many rain we'll encounter in the future,
as long as were holding on together,
we could go through all that and face the rainbow together
hand in hand...
i love you honey!

my boyfriend said....

" A minute away from you is just another minute closer till the day we'll see each other again..."

i don't think i could ever find any other guy out there,
who can tell me this kind of words and beautiful thoughts.
i feel so lucky for that. i love you!

and like what they said...
"accidents are meant to happen. no one can stop it,
cause it's destined to happen...

and i'm glad it happened to us. :)

My amazing BF :)

"forget about everything, forget about every body, forget about our differences,
all the hurt and pain, just think about our love..."

"you are so special, us is so special, and our relationship is so special, that no one, nothing not even us can break it.."

just listened to ur voice mail and it makes me wanna cry out.
you leave me speechless after listening to yout long message that
i truly love! it's the best......

thank you for loving the imperfect me yet giving me the most
perfect love ever!

Forgiveness and love

It’s not having the perfect relationship, but it’s finding someone who matches you and go through everything without giving up.

Like what you said, it's weird how yesterday can be so painful
gives us hate and tears and pain
and wake up the next with forgiveness in our heart,
full of love and happiness..

I guess our love was really that amazing.
unbreakable and so strong.
thank you for the purity of your heart that never fails
to forgive me despite of all the hurt and pain
i brought you...

that's one of the reason why i love you and makes me love you more.
i will do my very best as possible to give you
the happiness you deserve.
Make you smile and
I will take care of your heart.
love you more and more and more....

i would if only i could

I will stop the time.
and change everything.

Stop the time when you were born years before me.
stop the time so you can wait for me.
stop the time so we dont have to be afar.
i'll stop the time so we dont have to spend on waiting,
hoping and wishing..

i'll stop the time, pray to god, make a wish
to give me the power to change everything.
and i would if only i could...

i love you so much and i need to be with you,
soon... PLEASE.

3 months and 3 days!

"It is 95 days , 8,208,000 seconds
136,800 minutes, 2280 hours
13 weeks"

i'm doing the countdown. i can't wait to be with you!

your kiss is everything to me.

For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something.
you want it to be with someone you can’t get out of your head,
so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere.
a kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air.
you can’t cheat your first kiss. trust me, you don’t want to.
because when you find that right person for a first kiss, it’s everything.

- Grey’s Anatomy

only u

i promise. today, tomorrow and forever.
I'm all yours....

my monster. ♥

happy halloween! i know u dont celebrate it. haha
i remember how we spend the haloween last year together tho.
in a different way. which is even better! :)

iloveyou!

I want it together, with you next to me

I’m always waiting for the day where I can finally see you,
to touch you, and feel you and to love you more,

for the day we can see the sun or even the moon light up the sky
not over the phone while we talk,

but this time, I want it together, with you next to me,

with you looking down at my eyes while holding my hand.
and if the sun is up, I want to feel the sweat at the back of your skin
and to remember how it feels like..
for me to be able to feel the feeling of your existence.
that your really here with me.

Waiting would be worth it.

days are fast, and the closer we get to the day we'll be together again,
the more i'm missing you.
the more harder it is for me to miss you.
It’s impossible to understand the logic behind missing you.
I don’t know what it is that I am really missing
Is it the absence of you?
Or perhaps that unexplainable feeling at those every day conversations we had on the phone.
Those moments that we spend together before.

It is hard to be away to someone you love more than your self.
it's hard to keep going but it is harder to give up.
but with all the things you have said and done,
was already enough to assure me that no matter how far, no matter what,
you are somehow, in some way, here with me.

I miss you even during the seconds we talk. As soon as you pick up and say hello,
I start to miss you already.
I miss you at every breath that I take.
I love to think of you which sometimes
gives me a hard time, cause it makes me miss you more.

But I realize that thinking of you is the best thing to.
i realize that i don’t just want the thought of you.
I don't want to just think of you...

I want you. I want the real you.
I want the person I have been in love with for years and for months.
I want to be with you again.
Once again.

I miss you so much more than words can explain honey.
I want to know and feel again what your breath smells like,
what your hair feels like as i caress it while we kiss,
how the sides of your mouth move into that amazing smile
you give me that makes my day.
Your laughter, that makes my heart jump into happiness.

how your eyes are when I’m looking right at them
and not into a photograph, a picture, or pixels in my phone.
I want the real intense gaze I used to see from you.
I want to smell the scent on your neck as I hug and kiss you.

And most of all,
I want to hear you calling my name.
Or even hear you getting mad at me for every single stupid mistake I make.
I don’t care. I don’t mind.
I don’t want to hear your voice through a fucking phone,
or behind this little shitty headset.

This time, I want to hear your voice right through my ears.
I want to hear you talk and feel your breath on my skin as you tell me
How much you miss me. How much you love me.
And how much you waited for the day to come that we’ll be together again.
I want it real.

"I want to hear you resonate through the air the words i love you honey..."

And i know in the end, when that day comes..
All the wait will be more than worth it....

i love you honey.

cause it's so cold tonight...

your warm breath.
your warm touch.
your warm embrace.
your warm kiss.

your warm body curled all over me.

Every day with you has been a blessing.

I still thank my lucky stars every time you say..

'you you you and only you is my only love.
your the love of my life.. "

i get happy by hearing that. my heart smiles so big :D

19th Months! :)

I can’t imagine living my life with anyone else or loving anyone else.
You honey have been there for me through everything.
You are my source of inspiration and the reason I get up for work every day.
haha for real! The way i love sleeping is way too much,
but your the reason why i take that effort to get up and be awake,
to face another day talking with you and be able to hear your voice.
And if it’s okay with you I kind of want to keep this good thing going and remain together forever. ok? :)

I told thousand times before why i love you.
And i maybe I've mention this all to you before
but just in case i'll tell you once again
some of the things why i love you...

I LOVE YOU...
not because I have to but because I want to.
I love you because you were there.
because you talked to me. Because you understood me.
I love you because you cared about me.
because you trusted me. Because you let me in.
I love you because I know you won’t ever hurt me.
I love you because you are everything I’ve ever wanted.
I love you because you fell in love with me despite the age gap.
I love you because you have been through so much.
I love you because you are strong despite
all the things that tried to break us apart.
I love you because I know you. I know how amazing you are.
No one understands how much you mean to me.
"You are my life, my world, my everything."


Happy 19th months Anniversary! i love you so much forever.

you and i are the quiet things no one ever knew

I hate nights like this
when I can’t get to sleep and yet be sad enough to realize
that no matter how lonely it feels to be lying here on my bed without you
while staring blankly into that empty space up above me.
there is nothing I can do to stop myself from missing you so much because..
No matter what i do, you will never be here.

We were like an unspoken whispers and thoughts,
That nobody could ever hear besides us.
A sealed secret box that no one could ever open
cause we have the key.
We were things that only us could ever knew, things that no one else understood.
It gets hard at times, especially at times like this where I sob cause your not here
With me when I feel like I need you so much.
But the reason why i'm still here, holding on is because i would rather
have an intangible and risky love affair with you,
than to settle for a common and ordinary, yet guaranteed kind of "love"
with anyone else.
So i will wait for you for as long as it takes

I don't know why it feels so hard when missing you is the easiest thing to do..

why i miss you so much!?!
i think about you every second of every day, and if we don't talk
more than a day? i worry intensely and became a different person...

NO regret

and the reason i took this risk is cause i know that your there
to catch me when i fall. and i'm glad i did. :)

-i wonder if the things that reminded me of you,
reminds you of me..-

do you remember when you used to drive me here?
i miss it. :(

I celebrate my love for you...~happy birthday!

To my handsome boyfriend,

You are absolutely amazing.
The most amazing person I have ever met.
You always make sure I'm smiling, laughing, and having a good time.

And today is one of the most amazing days of your life.
You may find it ordinary but for people like me,
who loves you this much, today is a very special day.

I wish I could thank your parents for bringing you in this world.
If they didn't met each other and do something
to bring you to this world, you would not be here.

SO im thankful. And happy you have another year of your existence
in this wonderful world.
I wish i'm there to celebrate it with you.
I wish i could hand you my gift and see you while you open it.
I wish I could see those smiles in your eyes again,
when I kiss you a happy birthday.

But in spite of that, i wanna wish you a happy birthday!
and more birthdays to come.
I'm looking forward to the next coming years that we would be
able to celebrate this special day together.

i love you honey! your the best gift i ever have in my life!
thank you!